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Walking The Walk With A Person Who Is walking THAT WALK..

As many of you know, my wife passed. Here is a peek into things.... More »

 

(Words) The question is no longer will I find someone who wants to live their life with me..

The question now is do I want to live this Life with myself….

*One love feeds the fire. One heart does desire.. Wonder whose….. Two hearts born to run….Who will be the lonely one.. Wonder whose crying now… * – Steve Perry

Plenty of reasons ‘why’ you should…- You

What do you think is KEEPING ME HERE THIS LONG?- Me

THEY ARE THE ONLY REASON I’M STILL HERE….

Changing the months on a calendar is supposed to bring ease and comfort no? @ time healing all wounds…

Oh okay…. My little girls are hurting. I’m hurting. All over again.

Change traditions…go somewhere far… do SOMETHING DIFFERENT.- Some of you.

I feel you. I really do. Here’s the thing though….

That doesn’t really help. Doesn’t mean I won’t try it by the way but I’m telling you it doesn’t help.

Yet. I can see where YEARS FROM NOW it might but RIGHT NOW? It isn’t helping. She is EVERYWHERE. She’s in our dreams. Our awakening thoughts. The triggers are everywhere. We don’t talk too much about them be if you’ve ever been around the four of us you might catch us giving each other that ‘look’. No need to say much. The ‘look’ says it all.

Mind you, changing up things is good so I’m not knocking it. I just kinda feel the need to gently remind y’all that I’m basically looking at her EVERY DAY. @ the middle. In turn the middle has these things called ‘mirrors’ that well…. yeah… So getting her ‘off of our minds’ is pretty much next to IMPOSSIBLE. The only way we CAN DEAL WITH IT is to meet it head on and pray. Literally.

Sorry, I’m short of eloquent and profound words at the moment. Wish I could find the strength to type this up in some neat lil bow. I can’t…

I hate having FULL understanding AFTER THE FACT.

That’s all I’m left with right now. Full understanding and no one to apply the lesson to in that way….

Yes, I can make sure my daughters get it but I’m not really talking about that if you get what I’m saying..

I thought you ‘knew’?- You

I did.. Something about her going THROUGH WITH IT THOUGH kinda puts that .1% to rest though. @ me being 99.9999% sure.. So when I say that FULL understanding I say that to say I was HOPING AND PRAYING SHE WOULDN’T TAKE IT THERE. All the time. Even if it was to my own detriment. Unconditionally.

Playing Freddie Jackson’s “Love Is Just A Touch Away”* in my head while doing it.. Hoping that maybe I could be enough. Then the kids.. Then her ‘dream’ job.. Her goals.. Her freedom to do whatever she wanted with no resistance…

Knowing full well that….well…

You ever hope you’re wrong even when you knew you weren’t? Yeah…that..

All of that.

* Go find the song and listen to the chorus and the ad libs..

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